There’s been a lot of talk in circles about what men find attractive and what turns men off.
A lot of men are saying they are “over” dating – so what is the problem?
1. OVER-USING MAKE UP
Too often, women feel as though they need to completely transform their appearance in order to make an impression on a date – but this is far from the case.
‘Men are visual, we all know that, and they like you to make an effort but over-using make up – men don’t get it,’ Louanne a matchmaker said in a video.
‘Enhance your natural beauty and features, great, but the piling on of make up for a guy – he just doesn’t get it.
‘He doesn’t want it over his face or over his pillow or over his shirt so don’t over-use make up. ‘
2. GOSSIPING AND PUTTING PEOPLE DOWN
Talking negatively about others on a date is one of the most unattractive traits in the eyes of a man.
‘Blowing someone’s candle out doesn’t make yours burn any brighter,’ Louanne said.
‘[Talking negatively about others] is not an attractive trait as it is just trying to raise your self-worth by discrediting other people.
‘This is ugly. A beautiful woman with a good heart doesn’t conduct herself this way.’
3. TRYING TO COMPETE AND LOSING THEIR FEMININITY
‘Women are fantastic, they have great careers, they can support themselves and they are in control of their lives,’ Louanne said.
‘But men are looking for feminine and if they wanted to date a man they would be dating a man.
‘I hear from women all the time who say”Men are intimidated, I am strong, capable and successful and men don’t like that”.
‘Actually men do like that. They just like the feminine as well.
‘It is more beautiful to a man for you to expose your femininity than trying to prove a point all the time.’
4. OVER-USE OF COSMETIC ENHANCEMENTS
Again, drastically changing your appearance to reflect magazine trends is not what beauty is about.
‘You do not need to over-use cosmetic enhancements,’ Louanne said.
‘Sure, do the best with what you’ve been given but the injectable lips, the injectable things in your cheeks, hair extensions, painted on tattooed eye brows aren’t attractive.
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‘For a guy, he doesn’t need any of that. That’s not what he calls beautiful. What he is attracted to in your beauty is you.’
5. BEING SUPERFICIAL
‘This is the person who is always agreeing with everybody and always sweet and nice and kind and always positive and never in a bad mood,’ Louanne said.
‘That’s being superficial and guys see through that. It is not attractive.
‘Also needing to be the centre of attention is superficial and being the party girl all the time.
‘He will not see you as relationship material.’
6. PLAYING THE VICTIM
The “damsel in distress” act is far from attractive in the eyes of a man.
‘It is true that men do like to take care of women but a guy does not like drama and men will run for the hills,’ Louanne said.
‘You don’t need to make a drama out of every little thing. Fix your own stuff and don’t dump it on a man.
‘He will step up if and when he is ready to but if you are creating continuous drama over nothing, it’s just not an attractive trait.
‘Drama does not attract, it repels. Lose that.’
7. DRESSING WRONG FOR YOUR BODY SHAPE
‘Your body shape is your body shape, own it, love it, embrace yourself for who you are but dress for your body shape,’ Louanne said.
The ugly truth about beauty is that it is not on the outside.
‘But dressing for your body shape shows confidence and style and class. There’s no point trying to squeeze into a size eight dress if you are a size 12.
‘Own your shape and dress appropriately.’
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Louanne added that dressing in short skirts and dresses in freezing cold weather is also frowned upon.
‘It is confusing and it shows that you feel there is only one way to attract a man and that’s through your sexuality. That’s not what men are primarily only driven by,’ she said.
‘It is the same with women who go out and just don’t eat. Be yourself, dress for your body image and own who you are.’
Ultimately, Louanne said that ultimately, a man will fall in love with real beauty.
‘Real beauty for him is a girl who is real – who is comfortable in her own skin. She’s compassionate and kind and owns her own life and understands her self-worth,’ Louanne said.
‘Girls just be yourselves. You are going to age, you are going to get bigger, you are not going to stay perfect forever.
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‘How you act and how you represent yourself, that’s where the real beauty is. Don’t get caught in this continuous cycle of feeling like you are not enough because your beauty is unique to you.
‘Give those things because the ugly truth about beauty is that it is not on the outside.’